the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
