I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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