his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
