oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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