Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
