Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
