I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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