Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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