You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
