Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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