Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
