GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
