All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
