i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's never too late to be topless.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
