was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
