I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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