my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
