All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
