I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
