Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i now understand why vodka
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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