If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
