I think my fart just growled at me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
