The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
