He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
