You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
