Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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