why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
