I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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