i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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