Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
