What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
