So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
someone owes me an orgasm
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
