someone get that fucking seahorse.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
