life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this just has baby written all over it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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