it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
