I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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