I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
