just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Ladies don't puke and tell
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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