Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
