I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
