fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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