my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
