SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
