you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
