Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
