We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
