So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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