oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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