Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This girl is more easily done than said...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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