I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My feet surprised me
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