So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
